Not fitting in. Maybe you have different interests to the people at your school. Or maybe you just dress differently. Looking after a parent or sibling. Being the primary carer for someone close to you who is sick or has a disability can often make you feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders.
How normal is it to feel lonely? Disability, illness, racism and loneliness Sometimes loneliness can be caused by something else going on in our lives. Here are some of the major issues which can cause loneliness: Mental illness.
A lot of mental illnesses like bipolar, anxiety and depression can all make people feel very lonely. Mental illness can make you anxious about seeing others, so you might spend more time indoors.
Or it can lead to insomnia, which in turn can make you tired, irritable and lonely. IsabelleS January 8, at pm Reply. Perhaps you would find it helpful to reach out to a therapist or counselor who could help you navigate this process?
All the best. Alex January 6, at pm Reply. I think im okay, at least i tll myself that, try to convince myself i am. I realized today that i dont want to do anything, be aorund anyone. I dont like interacting anymore, i just dont talk. People notice, but I just say i dont feel like being around anyone. I have recently noticed that i dont even want to see anyone. I used to love seeing my boyfriend allll the time, and now, i dont want to see anyone.
I cry a lot, and i just want to be by myself. Am i weird for this? IsabelleS January 7, at am Reply. Have you communicated to your boyfriend and others that you need some time alone? All the best to you. January 3, at pm Reply.
Alas, I am a burdensome annoyance, nothing more. IsabelleS January 4, at pm Reply. David December 24, at pm Reply. I have always been quite introverted, even when i was socialising, i was more of an observer than a participant.
I have a cycle of diving in and pulling back, but this time i have withdrawn completely. I am a relative stranger in a small seaside town on the north coast of England and, after 6yrs, i barely know a soul and, although it pains me to admit it, am a little desperate. I cant sleep and have spent weeks going over old mistakes, rethinking old decisions and really dont know what to do. I thought i had made peace with my lifestyle but i was wrong. This is no way to live.
IsabelleS December 28, at pm Reply. You have the power to change your lifestyle. Mitch December 20, at am Reply. I can only do needed errands now and have always canceled any events or get-togethers with anyone.
I often have to reschedule Dr. Appointments because the anxiety now with leaving the house is unbearable. I have lost all confidence in talking to others, cashiers, waiters, etc.. I feel it is too late, and there is no one in my life that I would choose to spend my time with.
That is how long it has been. I gained this belief of why bother with a society like this and it is all just so overwhelming.
I used to be the goof who would dance in the grocery store aisle or do something silly just to make another laugh or smile if they seemed like they needed it.
Random acts of kindness and all that.. I just feel so broken, but your article helped me feel less alone. Thanks for that one. How do you get back to a life you never really had? Well, at least I got all of this off my chest and said some things out loud that I really needed to look at.
That alone is therapeutic. Thank you again, for the share. IsabelleS December 21, at am Reply. That being said, it is never too late. You can still take steps to form connections and to reach out to others. Anis October 21, at am Reply. I can relate with the whole article. Im struggling to be socialize as usual and I also have deactive all my social media account. Anna October 11, at am Reply. I then stopped to reach for them and actually evade appointments.
Then it became more and more pervasive. I felt no sparkling of curiosity in cultivating new relationships because all communications were rotten. I deleted Facebook because I felt lonelier using it, I would put like, comments even but no one would very much be there for my post, I pushed my self with anxiety to a charity and worked with them for a while organizing or trying to organize event of fundraising where no one of my friends partecipated or even replied.
So I deleted the account.. I then stopped even going out to do anything. I create online art and stuff and no one of the people I know ever bought something, not even family members.
While I did for friends and fam and partecipate to events in the past. I closed myself and wanted rather fantasize at home then deal with the reality. For the first 3 months I simply overslept. Trying to dream away my life.
Then I started to wake up, playing video games and then watch tv then go to sleep and repeat. After the first three months, pandemic hit and I did not have to change anything. I simply went on. No phone calls no zoom calls, no messages except seldom write to my bestie that knows me since high school like texting her 3 times in 6 months.
I have now reached the 11 months. And I have no desire to go out and talk. I read and see movies in English. If I do I feel less depressed. Thankfully I live with my parents and my pet. IsabelleS October 11, at pm Reply. Hi Anna, I am so sorry that you are going through this. I am glad to hear that you live with loved ones. Can you try to engage with them, or maybe to reach out to your friend s? My heart goes out to you, Anna. All the best! Raphaela November 11, at pm Reply.
Hannah Cole buie December 6, at pm. I was in hospital for depression last Christmas. Bcouldnt take any of the medicines. Stayed away from groups for a while. Leader was mean to me. Known her all my life older. Felt hurt. Then pandemic. I have been totally isolated. Severe anxiety and woe. Holidays went downhill. Heard from no one. Got back to painting watercolors and oils for a while.
In a gallery right at pandemic and have hardly painted. Miss my mother and best friend who passed away several years ago. Two separate people. I dread the holidays I once loved. Circles under eyes. Money issues. Never had many friends.
Not even putting wreath on door. IsabelleS December 7, at am. Samiam November 13, at am Reply. Chloe September 18, at am Reply. Atleast you have people messaging you. Imagin having Noone. Not one person. Imagine this happening for years. Maria Heinz December 24, at am Reply. July August 17, at pm Reply. I have isolated for about a year. I have social anxiety and am on disability because of it.
I try to avoid all socialization except getting groceries or other fundmental needs met. I dread it when I go out and so happy when i return to safety.
Im not lonely. I love to read, learn things. I am an attorney and nurse and if you would have said then that I would be like this now, i would have totally laughed. I like doing nice things for people as long as I dont have to interact with them. I cant sleep if I know I have to interact with someone I know. I can talk to strangers without any issue. Everything ive read talks about how harmful it is. Sometimes I think im just lazy but I really think its this extreme paranoia to interact with others.
I have broken off relationships with almost all my friends. Im not sad or lonely. I eat well but need to exercise more. Litsa August 17, at pm Reply. I think you point to something here about the difference between isolation and solitude. Some people just need less social interaction. I would just say to be cautious to really explore whether there is any piece that is a defense mechanism. We are strong believers that there are no all-or-nothing situations — self-reflection is key.
It leaves a person too tired to make conversation, go out, make friends, visit family, ect. Maybe when I retire it will be better, I can only hope! I really liked nursing because I could care for people on very short time period, share nothing personal and know they would probably be gone by by next shift. My anxiety was interaction with other staff or supervisors. Not having energy is not fun, esp. Easy but impractical solution is to decrease hours. I guess I would just say you have no idea how many lives you touch without even knowing it.
Maybe back down the intensity of work. Maybe find a less stressful nursing job. I wish you the very most of happiness. Glory June 27, at am Reply. Shiney December 5, at pm Reply. Reach out to them. Just a hi, thinking of you is nice to get. Invite them for coffee. Ryan June 21, at am Reply. This is where you lost me. The only people that have texted me in like two years has been delivery people telling me my food is here. I have no friends. My entire life is go to work, go home, go to bed, and repeat.
And my weekends and after work is basically just me on the couch waiting to go back to work. So when you talk about how bad your relationships are, all I have to say is at least you have them.
Adrian August 18, at am Reply. Hopefully you find friends and resolve any of your problems. Lin August 30, at pm Reply. It is making it harder to meet new friends or connect with old ones. But there are options out there — from reaching out to friends you have lost touch with to joining an online support group, where you may connect with people who share your experience. When the world starts opening up again or if it has where you are meetup. If you are thinking of hurting yourself, please right away get support.
I know this feels like a permanent state, but please know that it is not. Getting connecting with the right group, the right therapist, and other support can be lifechanging. Please call , go into your local ER, or call the suicide prevention hotline at Or, if you have health insurance, you can call the number on your insurance card for more information. You can also find a listing of grief therapists specifically on grief. Please take care and we hope you find some support through our articles and the comments here.
Theresa Griffey June 20, at pm Reply. There are days I just dont want to deal with anyone. Mostly because I have been hurt by many.
I wish there were answers to this perplexing topic. Unfortunately, you get to embarrass yourself and admit how painfully alone you are. I cry daily, I hurt deeply. I m the kindness giving person I swear.
I go out and help people who are stranded somewhere. I had a couple in front of my house stranded and helped them with getting their car towed. I helped families get food during Christmas that had none. But the hurt I receive is just heart breaking. I have one best friend that talks about everyone even her close friends. I dont get invited anywhere. When I do its women who I will go but its single women who complain endlessly about not having a man. But all they want to do is go to goodwill or eat.
Nothing can get them out to actually dance, go to a bar or just possibly meet a man. So I sit home, or eventually I will walk up the street by myself to a bar. And see… people.. I cannot stand this fakeness. So I sit home alone and very sad. They cant just be my friend, because they cant handle if another man comes up and talks to me. I have been married several times. Seriously dont think I could ever be again as this is exactly what happens. They treat me like a princess until they get me to live with them or marry them and they throw away the key..
No lie. I hate being alone most the time mainly because I think about suicide. But I am alone. Women do not want me around. I could bend over backwards kissing their butts, praising them and nothing will make them invite me anywhere. All the time. I have known her my entire life. When I call her on it.. Of course shes my only friend so a lay down and let her walk on me. I have attempted suicide several times in my past for the struggle of isolation due to people just plain dont want you around d..
I laugh, I love, I give I give I give. To endless pain. Truly wonder if god put me on this earth to hurt. Because i feel it deeply. I feel others pain so deeply also. I even give this friend a card a Christmas and she would bring gifts to other women at work and never me.. I have a very difficult time accepting gifts. I feel guilt. Because truthfully I have not been given anything I didnt work for. So god said.. I have come to realize that God sees everything and does not understand humans treatment of eachother.
I have given my last dollar to those who needed it. Its unimaginable why this was the lie I have been handed. I have never been handed money, I grew up poor in a broken family. So I ask god. I pray to god what do you want from me?
What is wrong with me? Send cards. Call and leave messages, flowers on doorstep. Ask them to come over for 5 minutes and you will make them a sandwich. Judi August 19, at pm Reply. I am alone too. My husband died 2-and-a-half years ago. I had a couple of friends but they walked away. I am compassionate like you. I have no one.
Not kidding. I might buy a small generator and do it that way. I am so lonely which is why I am so desperate. Litsa August 19, at pm. Vivien August 21, at pm. He died suddenly and all our couple friends deserted me. Since this pandemic, I have been totally isolated. I go for days and days not seeing or talking to anyone.
I am an older woman and impossible to make friends at my age. I also think about what is the reason for going on. I doby have children and I feel like I am living alone on an island.
It is very scary. Heather August 28, at am Reply. You are not alone. I can totally relate to the feeling. I have a hard time trusting people because I have been hurt. They prove time and time again they are not. I get used for kindness and then I get mad about it.
Kinda dumb but I thought I would be appreciated more or included but nooooo. Father God is the best I love our Father. They are out there. Trust yourself. You are accepted. Okie sisterrrrr. Dawn McDonnell September 19, at am Reply. I read you were married several times and your an attractive nurse with a giving loving heart.
Perhaps rather than looking for someone to do something with heres an idea…………. Join something in sports……….. Check out your school, university or local community centre to see if they run any groups you might vibe on. Another option is Meetup. It brings together people who enjoy similar things or activities, whether that be fitness, photography, tech or, well … pretty much anything.
Okay, so exercise is great for keeping you well and less stressed, but have you thought about it as a way to meet new people? You may not be able to join an exercise or sports group at the moment, but you could start researching by doing a Google search or sending the organiser an email. If there are people in your life you want to get to know better, going for a walk or run with someone can be a great no-pressure way to connect.
You can take the leap from the comfort of your own computer while working on the skills that will help you feel less lonely in the long run. While sometimes it can be a mission to dodge the trolls and haters, a little searching should uncover an online haven filled with your kind of crew.
Check them out here. Grab a good book or even just your Reddit feed, and find a comfy spot to sit. Even the most introverted of people need a support network and social connections. Even if you naturally seek the company of a crowd, you can learn how to enjoy a little time to yourself now and then. It is important to remember that being alone and loneliness are two very different things.
Loneliness involves being isolated despite wanting social connections, where being alone means taking time for yourself between regular social interactions. Choosing to be alone at times can be rejuvenating, but the important variables are that it is something you choose and something you enjoy. Being alone is harmful if it feels like a punishment or if you feel excluded from social connections.
If you are naturally drawn to other people, finding activities to enjoy all on your own might seem difficult at first. Adding some quiet moments where you can be alone can come with a number of benefits, particularly if you are always on the go and struggle to slow down and take breaks.
Some things you might want to try:. Take yourself out to dinner. Dining out is often viewed as a social experience, but treating yourself to a nice meal can give you a chance to relax and enjoy the experience in peace.
Go to the movies alone. Seeing a film alone means that you can fully focus on the story and visuals in front of you without wondering about what your companions might think. See your favorite band or musician by yourself.
Not only will you get to see your favorites without having to worry about finding people who want to go with you, seeing a concert alone can be a great way to meet other people who you share common interests with. You might be doing something on your own, but it can actually help widen your social circle.
Go for a hike. Spending time in nature can be great for your health, but it can sometimes be tough to find people who want to go. Going alone can give you a chance to connect with nature, challenge your body, and enjoy some peaceful solitude. Previous research has shown that nature can have a number of psychological benefits, ranging from restoring attention to relieving stress. Researchers suggest that being alone in nature can help people focus their priorities, gain a greater appreciation for relationships, and improve future goal-setting.
If you do hike alone, take all necessary safety precautions. While the point is to be by yourself, make sure someone knows where you will be, and you should always have the ability to contact the outside world if needed. Vacationing and traveling alone may seem particularly intimidating, but it can also be an exciting and rewarding way to challenge yourself and learn new things. Traveling alone is also a great way to build self-sufficiency and confidence.
Learn something new. Instead of being focused on doing what other people want to do, you can pursue something that satisfies your own interests.
Visit a museum. It also means that you can check out things at your own pace and react to exhibits without wondering what other people are thinking. Research has shown that prosocial actions like volunteering can have a number of positive benefits.
Look for opportunities in your community where you can devote a little time to a cause you are passionate about. Most research suggests that too much social isolation takes a serious toll on both physical and mental health.
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