Step 1: Acknowledge Acknowledge the hurt. Step 2: Consider Consider how the hurt and pain has affected you. Step 3: Accept Accept that you cannot change the past. Step 4: Determine Determine whether or not you will forgive. Step 5: Repair Repair the relationship with the person who wronged you. Step 6: Learn Learn what forgiveness means to you. Step 7: Forgive Forgive the person who wronged you. In some cases, this will be silent.
Tagged With: forgive Forgiveness. Explore the latest mental wellness tips and discussions, delivered straight to your inbox. Email Address. Satheesh on February 15, at am. I wish am dead I saw that person very happy after many years while am dying Reply. Thriveworks Assistant on February 16, at pm. Johnathan on July 6, at am. JACK on September 13, at pm. Maricar on January 21, at pm. Loretta Strongitharm on February 13, at am. John shinachi on November 29, at am.
Need for forgiveness newspapers Reply. Jonathan Phillips on December 3, at pm. I dont want a counselor. I am interested in reading material. Alfonsine Mushinga on December 12, at am. I need the skills and professional counsellors Reply.
Submit a Comment Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. Find A Counselor. Popular This Month. If you struggle with unforgiveness in your life, try asking these three simple questions :.
How Forgiveness Works. Forgiveness has healing power in relationships, and anyone can make the choice to do it. Previous 7 Tips for Getting Started as a Mentor. Just for Churches. For the Community. Our Podcast. We joyfully resolve never to throw the sin back into the face of the one who committed it. We promise never to hold it over their head, using it to manipulate and shame them. And we promise never to bring it up to others in an attempt to justify ourselves or to undermine their reputation.
And lastly, we promise never to bring it up to ourselves as grounds for self-pity or to justify our resentment of the person who hurt us. It also means you refuse to use your past suffering to justify present sin. This may entail doing simple acts of kindness, like greeting them warmly, from the heart, or providing a meal when they are sick, or other routine acts of compassion or mercy.
What will it accomplish? It will both surprise and shame them. Usually a person deliberately sins against you with the expectation that you will respond in like fashion.
If you do, it justifies in their mind their initial sin against you. The last thing they expect is sustained kindness and strength. Thus when evil is met with goodness it disarms them; they are stunned with incredulity. Hopefully, this will open a door in your relationship that will lead to a genuine life change. Responding this way also shames him. Responding to evil with good compels the offender to look at himself rather than at you.
When the light of your kindness shines back in the face of his darkness, the latter is exposed for being what it really is. Often we avoid forgiveness because we want to avoid conflict. They may even deny having sinned against us. But true forgiveness pursues relationship and restoration. True forgiveness is not satisfied with simply canceling the debt.
It longs to love again. First, the offending person may refuse your overtures of kindness and resist any efforts on your part to reconcile. As Paul said in Romans , your responsibility is to do whatever you can within your power to be at peace. If they refuse to be at peace with you, the fault is theirs. You will at least have fulfilled your responsibility before God. Second, often times when the reconciliation or restoration is successful, the relationship never fully returns to what it was before the offense was committed.
Trust and confidence and delight in another person take a long time to fully recover from a serious sin, and sometimes never fully recover at all. In conclusion, none of this will make sense to someone who has not experienced and received and tasted the joy of the forgiveness of God in Christ Jesus.
If we do not forgive as the Scriptures command, perhaps the problem is with our ignorance of what God has done for us in Christ. That is why the key to forgiveness is the cross. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. For all press inquiries, email press acts All rights reserved Created by SolidGiant. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. You may be able to put an entire narrative together for the person who hurt you—from early child through adulthood—or just imagine it from what you know.
You may be able to see her physical frailties and psychological suffering, and begin to understand the common humanity that you share. You may recognize her as a vulnerable person who was wounded and wounded you in return. Despite what she may have done to hurt you, you realize that she did not deserve to suffer, either.
When we suffer a great deal, it is important that we find meaning in what we have endured. Without seeing meaning, a person can lose a sense of purpose, which can lead to hopelessness and a despairing conclusion that there is no meaning to life itself. Instead, we try to see how our suffering has changed us in a positive way. They may also realize that their suffering has altered their perspective regarding what is important in life, changing their long-range goals for themselves.
You must always take care to address the woundedness in yourself and to recognize the injustice of the experience, or forgiveness will be shallow.
Still, there are many ways to find meaning in our suffering. Some may choose to focus more on the beauty of the world or decide to give service to others in need. Some may find meaning by speaking their truth or by strengthening their inner resolve. If I were to give one answer, it would be that we should use our suffering to become more loving and to pass that love onto others.
Finding meaning, in and of itself, is helpful for finding direction in forgiveness. Forgiveness is always hard when we are dealing with deep injustices from others.
I have known people who refuse to use the word forgiveness because it just makes them so angry. But if you want to forgive and are finding it hard, it might help to call upon other resources. Forgiveness is a process that takes time, patience, and determination. Try not to be harsh on yourself, but be gentle and foster a sense of quiet within, an inner acceptance of yourself. Try to respond to yourself as you would to someone whom you love deeply. Surround yourself with good and wise people who support you and who have the patience to allow you time to heal in your own way.
Also, practice humility—not in the sense of putting yourself down, but in realizing that we are all capable of imperfection and suffering.
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